Christoph

new LJ

2004-02-04T07:29:09Z

fyi - Being that christoph21 is really a stupid LJ name, I've signed up for another account, which is ilikethecrazies.

christoph21 @ 2004-02-03T11:49:00

2004-02-03T20:07:53Z

I would sell my soul for self-cleaning clothes right now.

I wish I didn't have to work every day for the next week.

I hate the fact that I've been feeling so tired of life lately. I keep
repeating mistakes (and making new ones), and I don't have the energy
to fix them right now.

I hope that soon I have more of myself to give to others, that I don't
feel as if I *need* to be so self centered to survive, and that I may
become more open with my life and feelings to the ones I care about most.

I am glad I don't have to afraid of feeling this way sometimes when I'm
living in this house.

I wait for the day Livejournal stops fucking up my carefully arranged
entries, as it becomes an eyesore for people to read them, and I really
shouldn't have to go back and fix them.

I guess it's free, though.

In unrelated news...

2004-02-03T08:04:24Z

At least something productive happened today. Rent was paid today, so I have a roof over my head for the next month. My paycheck was quite a bit more than what I was expecting, so I guess that means I'll be attending SCCC next quarter. Parent's are fronting the cost of tuition (thank god), and I just need to pick up the books. I've been looking at interior design, though Im not sure (and thus need to investigate) what degrees/programs the college is offering.
I havn't spoken to Drew since Saturday morning. I've left him a couple of messages, now feeling a little stupid - the reason I'm not a relationship person. Maybe I should try being asexual for a while.
The medication is telling me it's about time to pass out - I won't deny it.

christoph21 @ 2004-02-01T01:21:00

2004-02-01T09:25:37Z

I can't give up - but I havnt figured out what to do yet.

Thanks Britt for making light of our fucked up thoughts.

#$%*%!@

2004-01-31T20:58:43Z

My car died - again. I just want to get rid of this piece of shit and be done with it. I have to take the bus to work, and I don't get off til 11 (as if anyone is going to fuckin shop that late). The next bus I can find wont get me back home until after 12:30. *sigh*

I had a great time last night - after having a busy/stressed out week, Im really enjoying Drew's company. We went to visit with Cathy and her roommate Liz along with some of the switch house peeps on Cap Hill, which went well. Got to sleep in with the boy before heading back to do some laundry before work. Im already missing him *sigh*

And speaking of work, I need to get ready. Im completely scatterbrained right now, so Im sure Ill be updating tonight/soon with something a little more profound/coherent.

>

2004-01-30T22:44:36Z

We interrupt the regularly scheduled unupdated livejournal for an irregular update

- Work is going is well as it can be. Im just frustrated how the owner/managers conduct their business. Money shortages are covered up or "will be handled later" and these are incidences in which employees start getting fired, which happens frequently enough to where Im consistantly on edge. At least it's less responsibility for me and enough $$$ to sustain my way of life.

- I met a boy, his name is Drew, he's cute and has a mohawk, and best of all he's apparently a nice and normal person. He just graduated from Gene Juarez (beauty school for those unknowing) and Im sure he'll be a fabulous hairdresser. He starts work at a salon in the U Village today, making people look beautiful *sigh* He seems to have a varied taste in music (a huge +), so I hope to bring him to a few shows and further explore Seattle's music scene. More to come on the boyee later.

- Today is my official room cleaning/reorganizing day. Really. I actually started the other night when Drew was over, and continued cleaning yesterday. The love seat needs to be moved around so I can fit the TV in the corner, and I need to make homes for my collection of CD cases and DVDs/VHS, which are currently strewn about my room. My computer desk really needs a complete overhaul - Im counting 13 7up cans, a half full bottle of pepto bismol, a tin of medication, several bottles of liquer in various sizes, a shot glass..or three, CDs, food wrappers and apple cores...
Yes, this is my life.

I think Im going to take a nap before all of this excitement commences. Drew expressed that he wanted to hang out this evening over the phone, and how could I not oblige to go out with a cute boy? I'm thinking about him, and I hope he's having a blast styling hair right now.
And off I go.

To make things clear

2004-01-25T07:01:13Z

I was kidding about the previous post. Kinda.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-24T22:41:00

2004-01-25T07:00:43Z

So we have two cats in the Switch - Jupiter and Beast (or Bob - I don't know what the hell it's name is now). Jupiter is cute and cuddly and loves nothing more than to love you by falling asleep on your lap or imitating a hug by laying his body against your chest. This isnt to say he does not have his evil moments, but don't we all? Beast, on the other hand, is fluffy, has hair growing out of it's ears, and loves to do nothing more than lay around and be an inconvenience. While Jupiter tries on baby outfits and is the source of much glee with Switch House inhabitants, Beast lies in the middle of the landing, where people are having to step over him to get to the bathroom and climb the stairs. Jupiter protects me from rats while Beast sits right outside my door, causing me to go out of my way to get downstairs.
Beast clearly isnt pulling his weight in this family, so I've devised a couple of options:

- Sell Beast (I think it's a purebred *something*) and use the money for Switch House liquer

OR

- Shave Beast Mr Pigglesworth style and have it be the Switch House mascot. Even on depressed or bitchy days, we can all point and laugh at it's pale hairless body and feel even a little bit better.

I don't think Brittany would mind.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-24T19:43:00

2004-01-25T03:54:27Z

Today's wanks -

- I couldn't escape work because one person didn't show up at all, and one person left earlier, forcing another employee to come back and work with me until the manager could come in on his day off. That's what you get for hiring flakey gay boys.

- This caused me to recieve my first ever parking ticket, for parking 3 1/2 hrs in a 3 hr parking space. I plan on contesting it, but that's more effort I have to expend on my part, when so many other people deserve tickets more, who literally use that area as their driveway.

- I had enough time to get away from work to rush next door and pick up some fries from Jack in the Box. The grease made my stomach turn into knots all day.

The only saving grace today was Dajah's present, and is thus now my hero.

Oh my god....

2004-01-20T10:58:33Z

There are fucking RATS in my closet. They woke me up as they were rummaging through my boxes and scared the living shit out of me. What was I going to do?

Thats right - fetch Jupiter from outside and have him guard my closet.

I'll have to find him a treat tomarrow for his services.

Recap

2004-01-20T07:58:04Z

So all is ok atm -

- Work is alright. It doesnt exactly burst a blood vessel to stand for 6-8 hr shifts and take 20 mins to close a store, but GOD DAMN do my feet hurt. I will most likely have foot problems later on if I live to a ripe old age, but Im sure they'll just fall off before then. It's definitely a change - the atmosphere is totally laid back, unlike hot topic, but more often than not this leads to prolonged periods of making sure all of the hanger hooks are going one direction on the rack, and becoming estatic when finding a shirt that has fallen off the hanger. What can I say though - I work in a fabulous gay clothing store with even more fabulous gay boys. How could you possibly go wrong there?

...and if any of you happen to be strolling down Broadway, please come in and say hi to put a wedge in the monotony? I always work weekends.

- I miss my family. There - I said it. My parents need to let my sis come down and visit me. She's 17, and should be able to drive down to seattle. On that note, mom and dad did say they were coming down this next weekend. I'd love to have them see where I work, and in a way part of my life (for those of you who know broadway and me, heh). I don't know if they'd be too impressed with the naughty stuff too, however.

And on that note, Rado sells poppers. Just an FYI.

- I've never been this broke before. I know I have enough for rent and house related bills, but thats pretty much it. Wow. I need to figure out exactly when I receive my first paycheck.

- Ive been getting ahead a bit more on sleeping, but my job pretty much cancels out the effort I've put in (and is probably the reason why I've been able to get more hrs in). Hopefully the stuff from Dajah will help. I hate feeling shitty and tired all day. This is probably also contributing to my anxiety. Ahh, but what can ya do.

- I can't get that "faggy disco bullshit" (as quoted from my manager Pakio) out of my head. I have to listen to it for most of my shifts. Thank god we're able to listen to some Chicane (we have a miniscule music selection we can play in-store), and even Oakenfold is better than most of what we have in our library. And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Bah.

Ok kiddies, Im off to bed n' stuff. Thank god my weekend is coming up, so I can truely sleep in and not start my day til late afternoon...or 10 pm...

Mmmmm...

2004-01-17T07:54:06Z

So I found a 1/4 full bottle of rum I had left over back at home tonight, and found another 1/2 full bottle yesterday when rummaging though a box in my room here in Seattle.
Thats, like, almost a whole bottle of rum right there. wow.

For idle shits and giggles...

2004-01-14T04:56:17Z

From an email of someone who responded to my profile on self pics (Ive tried to clean up his grammar and puctuation the best I could whilst processing 5 or 6 shots of rum) -

I have sent you pic the frist time was in oct 4 and again this last few days. You had almost the same add and once again you didnt send any pics of you want do you get pics from peeps and dont send any out Do you get off from the pics you get. There should be a way to warn peeps that are fakes like you.

And my response -

Unfortunately chrislee1801@webtv.net, I get so many replies to my ad, and Im busy having a life. Ive replied to several of them, and really dont have a way of keeping track of them (aside from my memory, which is poor) . It doesnt mean I deliberately did not reply to your email, and I suggest using your time for more worthwhile causes, or hit up the boys that claim they will respond to everyone that emails them. I sure as hell dont, because I know I wont get around to *all* of my replies. Thank you for your interest, but please get over your trip.

Yes, this does make me feel a little bit better about everything...so?

christoph21 @ 2004-01-12T17:31:00

2004-01-13T01:32:56Z

I don't fucking understand it. People say I look good, but all I see is a blotchy face and lovehandles way too big for my own good.

Are you guys lying to me?

In other news, I did get the job. Im going to be a PT keyholder at Rado. Perfect.

!

2004-01-12T20:33:19Z

I have an interview at Rado in a couple of hours. Everyone cross your fingers.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-10T16:48:00

2004-01-11T00:49:40Z

For the love of god.

Can I at least check my friendster messages without it bringing up dead links? Can I? Id rather pay a measly amount of $ than to have it be free and full of traffic.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-10T11:53:00

2004-01-10T19:55:25Z

I will never again taunt Jupiter.

I still love you, even after the flesh wounds you just gave my wrist.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-08T09:56:00

2004-01-08T17:58:47Z

I bailed on the web cam audition today - and made up a fairly convincing story might I add. I did it for a sort-of legitimate reason and might reschedule, but I can't help but wonder - Is it becoming fate that I am not yet in the porn industry?

christoph21 @ 2004-01-07T22:33:00

2004-01-08T06:34:42Z

http://www.afa.net/petitions/marriagepoll.asp

American Family Association's poll on homosexual marraige. If you'd care to spend 10 seconds to vote, there's the addy. If anything else, look at the link for shits and giggles and see what the AFA is *really* bringing to congress ;)

christoph21 @ 2004-01-07T20:31:00

2004-01-08T04:55:07Z

Things are progressing alright in Seattle. Hopefully I'll be getting a job soon - I still have some time.

- Tomarrow is the day I go in and do my little interview deal with the producer for Jizz4u.com/Daddy Oohhh. I doubt I'll have any troubles, and the $$$ I could potentially make will help pay rent. It sound's like a pretty sure-shot thing.

- I decided to skip school this quarter. I simply cannot afford books (the parents have opted to pay tuition whenever Im ready to go). It would leave me with absolutely no financial grounds to walk upon, aside from enough money to pay rent and bills next month. This however will give me a good amount of time to sell my car and use the money for rent if I need to. It has ultimately become an inconvenience anyway, and taking the bus to downtown is only a matter of minutes.

- Im getting along fine with all of the switch house crew. I admire Ron for being the "normal" and emotionally stable one of the bunch, and it doesnt hurt that he's from New York and has a rather thick accent. Brittany is great to go out and have shits and giggles with, and relate in all things having to do with debauchery. Devon is mature well beyond his years and simply knows how to take care of himself and his house, and Denise is, well, Denise. :)

- I had a couple of horrible dreams last night - One having to do with my puppy being uthanized, and another involving a gunfight I am in, and getting shot twice in the throat. More importantly, my little jack russle back at home, Bailey, actually is being given away - I hope this isnt a sign of some sort. I really just wanted to cry after I woke up. I wish he could stay with me, but too many problems would arise from Bailey staying at the Switch. I hope he is moving to a good home.

- I feel like an inatiquate friend. I don't exactly know if something else specifically is bothering the friend in question, or my subpar communication skills atm. It makes me increasingly aprehensive feeling like Im becoming the sort of person that attempts to show they care for someone else and pretends to understand, because that does nothing but push me away from those said people. She's helped me to understand more of myself in the past, and hopefully Im still able to show that I care, and at least have *some* insight.

Im going to try to get to sleep early tonight. Need to pick up a copy of Win XP tomarrow morning (thanks again Louis) and get over to that interview.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-05T15:28:00

2004-01-05T23:30:38Z

Im so broke.

I have enough on my card to buy books for school and a few groceries, and enough in my account to pay rent and bills through february. I need to find a job soon.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-02T19:49:00

2004-01-03T03:52:01Z

I don't understand why Ive been acting and feeling like such a fucking dork lately. I've been walking around and feeling spacy for the last several days, I don't understand it, and I don't feel very comfortable with myself right now. Hopefully with school and getting a job coming up, I'll be a little more focused.

christoph21 @ 2004-01-01T01:29:00

2004-01-01T09:31:39Z

This is the the first time ive gotten sick when ive been drinking in over a year - I hate throwing up,...whee

Devon is cool for driving me home - Denise is cool cause of her continued patience with me, and brittnay is cool cause she takes it in stride has has fun with me, and everyone else is cool becausee

Everyone is cool, and happy new years.

And I n eed to visit the toilet again.

christoph21 @ 2003-12-31T03:52:00

2003-12-31T12:01:05Z

So yes, it has snowed, and I am awaiting tomarrow morning when western washingtonians desparately attempt to commute. Last season when snow hit, 1-5 was shut down near my house, where several accidents caused a shit load of traffic.

I realized a few hours ago that not only did I give the wrong un-updated resume to Rado, but I gave them my transcript request form instead of my application. I win.

I hope that the snow will disappear in time so I may get over to Rado tomarrow (my car has absolutely no traction) - it really would be *the* perfect job for me, sigh.

christoph21 @ 2003-12-30T17:06:00

2003-12-31T01:23:26Z

An overwhelming, but satisfying last few days:

- The carpet has been finished in my room, which ended up matching quite nicely with the blood red walls.

- Internet has been hooked up. Today I downloaded a file at a steady 211 kb/s. Cable owns DSL.

- I am going back to school and having my credits from skagit transferred. All I have left to do is register for classes and pay tuition, thus making the trips between skagit community and south seattle worthwhile.

- While running errands with D, I discovered that Rado (clothing store for all the little gay boys (and girls)) is hiring. I was able to talk to the manager briefly, and had informed me that he was looking for someone looking for an evening shift. Perfect. Cross your fingers guys.

Im getting somewhat seriously worried by my memory. For the last few days ive been extremely spacy - I havnt been able to remember or draw up various thoughts and pieces of information ive needed recently, and its making me feel extremely dim-witted. Of course it could be related to many things, but the fact that it matches up with symptoms of real diseases is very unsettling (Im not talking about alzimers (sp), heh). Im going to be on health insurance within the week though, and Ill be able to take care of it.

Lastly, if anyone knows of websites that sells pharmaceuticals on the black market, it would be much appriciated.

Dajah?